


I Have Better Things To Do Than Villainy

by HouserOfStories



Series: this best friend business is a full time job [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is So Done, Gen, Illnesses, Remus and Janus are supervillains, Robots, Supervillain Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Supervillain Deceit | Janus Sanders, virgil is trying to do the maths to figure out why he deserved this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouserOfStories/pseuds/HouserOfStories
Summary: “Cover for us?”“Absolutely not,” Virgil says, because he’s smart like that. “I’m not your replacement.”“I mean, you’re our secretary, tech guy, assistant, and best friend, may as well add something else to the list,” Janus replies, because he’s a little shit like that.In which Remus and Janus are supervillains, and Virgil is furiously doing the maths to find out what he did to get dragged into this.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: this best friend business is a full time job [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088318
Comments: 9
Kudos: 62
Collections: TSS Fanworks Collective





	I Have Better Things To Do Than Villainy

**Author's Note:**

> This is the start of a superhero au I cooked up a little while ago, but only got round to actually writing for it now. As in, I filled a google doc with dialogue snippets then ignored it for at least a month. Enjoy!

It’s a wonderful morning, and Janus and Remus are horrible, _horrible_ people.

“Cover for us?” Janus pleads, wrapped up in more blankets than they own and sniffling. Virgil can see his eyes peeking through what can only be called a cocoon. One of the smaller robot snakes slivers out from the woollen depths. If he remembers correctly, this one’s named Toby. Or was it Anton? 

“Absolutely not,” Virgil says, because he’s smart like that. “I’m not your replacement.” 

“I mean, you’re our secretary, tech guy, assistant, and best friend, may as well add something else to the list,” Janus replies, because he’s a little shit like that. If Virgil is going to go out and be a supervillain for the afternoon - which he’s _not_ \- he’s at least going to be his own person while he does it. 

“Why does ‘best friend’ come last?”  
  
And Remus chooses this moment to come barrelling in on a broken desk chair, because the universe likes to take Virgil’s moments of self-assurance and set them on fire. Actually, that might just be Remus. Either way, it’s dangerous to even think of arson around Remus, just in case he someone catches wind of it and drags you out in the middle of night to steal the test papers your entire class collectively failed on and burn them all, after sending the answers to the group chat created entirely for this purpose.

What can he say? Virgil has seen _too much._

But maybe there’s hope for the universe yet, because Remus crashes into Janus’s metre thick blanket cocoon cackling wildly. The desk chair careens off into the wall and breaks into pieces. Virgil can relate. Every day he hopes the apartment won’t get dented, and every day he is disappointed. If between him and Janus they didn’t have enough tricks to fix dents in the wall, singed ceilings, and whatever someone’s experiment had brought upon them, they’d have been kicked out the moment they’d arrived. 

“Won’t you take pity on your poor, sick comrades?” Remus asks with a particularly obnoxious sneeze. “We’re more bacteria and bugs than homosapien at this point.”

“Speak for yourself,” Janus huffs from within the sprawling mess that was once his blanket fort. Anton - or is it Pryce? - has slivered onto the table and is watching them all with robotic glee. “I caught it from you anyway.”

“And I caught it from our darling Prince, your point is? But Virgil—” And now Remus’ rabid-puppy-hybrid eyes are staring up at him. “We need you to do this.”

“No you don’t.”

“It’s on the schedule! Minor chaos—”

“Penned in for this morning, I noticed.” Of course he noticed — Virgil _made_ that damn schedule. It’s on their kitchen _wall_ for goodness sake, written in Virigl’s spidery handwriting and highlighted in Remus’ favourite shade of green. Right next to the map of the city with buildings that have Villain Insurance, in fact.

Janus is probably narrowing his eyes at Virgil. Too bad it isn’t going to work when he’s buried under five tons of blankets. “We’ll pay you your usual fee.”

“He’s saying that so he doesn’t have to give up the fancy stuff.”

“Remus!” Janus hisses. “That was supposed to be a _secret_.”

“I’ll take half now, half when I’m done,” Virgil says, because again, he’s smart like that.

“Do you not _trust_ us, Emo?”

“I need some sort of compensation for this.” See? He knows what he’s talking about. Janus mutters about teaching him well, then sticks his hand out to flip him off. It disappears just as quickly.

Virgil walks off to retrieve his costume from the cupboard that they pretend doesn’t exist. For his own sanity, you see. It’s nothing special: a long dark grey cloak, thick black jumper, and practical black trousers with plenty of pockets. To finish it off, he pulls the dark mask over his nose. 

Excited clapping greets him as he walks out, and Remus bounds over to adjust his hood. “Now go blow shit up,” he says soundly, as if he is imparting some sage advice. This rarely happens.

“Our little shadowing, going out into the world.” Janus sniffs dramatically, which yes, is a thing people can do. “I’m so proud.”

“Fuck you,” Virgil says conversationally, and opens the door.

“Love you too!” Hermes and The Duke call out, because they all know Virgil was going to do this anyway. 

The moment Virgil walks out of their secret villain lair that really is just their apartment, he trips on his cape. His best friends — because what is friendship if not committing felonies for each other? — snicker behind him.

This is going to be a _great_ day.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hello on tumblr at [@houser-of-stories!](https://houser-of-stories.tumblr.com/)


End file.
